tiphereth

I’m looking at you and you’re looking at me, and I really hope you have a fantastic view

because I find you to be most lovely, indeed

translating female-speak for hapless men

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut-up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half-hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with ‘Nothing’usually end in ‘Fine’.

4. Go Ahead: This is a dare. Not permission. Don’t do it!

5. Loud Sigh: This is actually not a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time and standing here and arguing with you about nothing.

6. That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. ‘That’s okay’ means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not question or faint. Just say you’re welcome.

8. Whatever: Is a woman’s way of saying ‘To hell with you!’

9. Don’t worry about it, I’ve got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it hersef. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For a woman’s response, refer to #3.

(via missmarvel26)